


It'll Be Okay

by gentlelogic



Series: Sanders Sides Micro Fic Collection (Take Two) [10]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Crying, Depression, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Some stuff can be interepeted as suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24181930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gentlelogic/pseuds/gentlelogic
Summary: “I think that the difference between truth and lies can get very convoluted in our heads.”“I don’t even know what that word means,” Patton joked.Janus raised an eyebrow. “It can get messy and complicated. And sometimes, when you dwell on things like ‘Thomas doesn’t need me anymore,’ it is probably best to go to the person who can confirm or deny if it’s true or not. In this case, Thomas. Instead of letting it fester.”“I’m not letting it fester,” Patton said.“Not on purpose, maybe. But you’re doing it, regardless.”
Relationships: Morality | Patton Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders & Thomas Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Micro Fic Collection (Take Two) [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1263341
Comments: 4
Kudos: 79





	It'll Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "You’re a good friend, I hope you know that." with Patton

Patton was tired. He wasn’t tired in a physical sense necessarily, although that was a bit of it. He could count on one hand the nights he’d gotten a good night’s sleep over the past month. That was on him though, staying up past 5:00 am to finish another Parks and Rec marathon. Even when Thomas was fast asleep beside him, Patton was wide awake, huddled under the covers, and using the remote to move to the next episode.

It wasn’t just physical exhaustion though, not really. It was something deep in his heart that made him feel like he’d lived a thousand lifetimes. Something that made his eyes burn and heart ache. Something that made giving up feel terrifyingly unproblematic. Something that reached through every bone and muscle in his body and made it nearly impossible to rise out of bed in the morning.

But he did. He woke up every morning at 7:00 AM sharp. He brushed his teeth, got dressed, put on a playlist, and made his way downstairs to make some coffee and breakfast for everyone. Logan would come down first, then Roman, then Virgil- and sometimes Janus and Remus would even come along. Patton would serve all of them and they’d thank him. Logan would tell him the things they needed to accomplish that day. Roman would gush about all the ideas he’d come up with the night before. Virgil would just grunt, a little grumpily, but then he’d rinse out his coffee mug and leave the kitchen, giving Patton a gentle smile on the way out.

Patton knew he was lucky. He was surrounded by people he cared about and people who cared about him. And Thomas! If any of them gave him a reason not to give up, it was Thomas, because if Patton knew anything, it was that Thomas needed him.

And yet… Yet. A sickly sort of thought started forming in Patton’s head, that felt as if it were strangling him. _Maybe Thomas didn’t need him_. After the whole situation with Mary Lee and Lee’s wedding… Patton was starting to think maybe, just maybe… Thomas didn’t need him anymore.

Which was silly! Of course it was silly. It would only take one little conversation with Logan for all the logic flaws in the mere idea of it to be pointed out. But still… Patton felt. Not great.

The other sides noticed. Logan would furrow his brow at the breakfast table when he saw Patton’s smile dim just a little bit and ask if he was all right. Roman would wrap his arms around Patton’s waist and gently dip him while Patton giggled. Then Roman would tell him, “If you ever need someone to talk to, sunshine, I’m your guy.” Virgil told Patton that there was something off. Then, with an awkward smile, Virgil squeezed his hand and said, “I’m here. The two of us are a dynamic duo, right?”

Patton would nod, but not say anything else.

“Whatever thoughts you’re thinking,” Remus would say, leaning in a little too-close to Patton’s ear, “keep it up. The misery is _enthralling_.”

And Janus… Janus sat at the table when no one else was there, sipping at his steaming espresso and gazing at Patton with the same calculating look Logan got when figuring out a particularly difficult puzzle.

“You’re a terrific actor. Definitely have all of them fooled.” Patton couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.

Janus set down his cup and looked back to Patton. Patton shuffled his feet, trying to weaken the lump in his throat.

“I understand that we are not… close.” Patton’s eyes snapped up and his mouth opened, but before he could say a word, Janus raised a gloved hand and smiled wryly. “Despite that, I can see you are… hurting, in some fashion.”

“I’m not.”

“Oh, keep up with the lies, my dear, I’m not familiar with that department _at all_.”

Patton flinched. “It’s not hurt.”

“What do you call it then?”

Patton shrugged. “I’m just tired.”

“Mmm,” Janus hummed softly. He folded his hand and looked up to Patton. “I think that the difference between truth and lies can get very convoluted in our heads.”

“I don’t even know what that word means,” Patton joked.

Janus raised an eyebrow. “It can get messy and complicated. And sometimes, when you dwell on things like ‘Thomas doesn’t need me anymore,’ it is probably best to go to the person who can confirm or deny if it’s true or not. In this case, Thomas. Instead of letting it fester.”

“I’m not letting it fester,” Patton said.

“Not on purpose, maybe. But you’re doing it, regardless.”

And with that, the conversation ended, leaving Patton’s thoughts spinning a mile a minute.

He found himself watching Parks and Rec with Thomas again at 3:36 AM. Thomas was fast asleep beside him and Patton was curled under the blankets, a pillow tucked against his chest, and tears rolling down his cheeks for no reason.

_He doesn’t need you anymore._

Patton swallowed, wiping his eyes, and desperately trying to look normal as Thomas shifted awake. He blinked sleepily up at Patton and upon noticing Patton’s red eyes and blotchy cheeks, he sat up quickly. 

“Patton?”

“Go back to sleep, kiddo.”

Thomas frowned, then completely sat up and reached for Patton’s hand, squeezing it softly. “Hey, Pat. What’s up?”

“I’m okay, Thomas.”

“Not what I asked.”

Patton breathed a shuddering breath and tried to smile. “I’ll be okay.”

“Again, not what I asked. C’mere, buddy.” Thomas opened his right arm and without thinking, Patton tumbled into his side and Thomas pulled the arm around Patton, pulling him tight against his side. Patton felt his shoulders start to shake and more tears spilled over.

“I’m sorry, kiddo,” he whimpered. “I’m supposed to be helping _you_ –”

“You deserve a little help too, Pat.”

Patton sniffled. “ _ **You’re a good friend, I hope you know that,**_ Thomas.”

Thomas laughed softly. “I learn from the best.”

“Do you… do you think… do you think you guys still need me?” Patton asked.

“Of course we need you, Patton. What would we do without you?”

Patton swallowed. “But… do _you_ still need me?”

Thomas sucked in a sharp breath. “Absolutely, Patton. I don’t know what I’d do without you. What’s brought all this on?”

Patton shrugged. “It’s been a long week. Month. Year.”

Thomas snorted. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m just… tired.”

“That’s okay,” Thomas said.

Patton felt a smile tugging at his lips. “Thanks, kiddo.” Patton curled closer to Thomas.

“Things are gonna keep getting better, Patton. I promise.”


End file.
